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5 Mental Lenses That Helped Me Stop Caring What People Thought About Me

Updated: May 9, 2023

Today I am going to write about why caring about the opinion of others is killing your potential.

I'm going to share with you all today what I have learned along my journey:

  • Why you need to be independent of the opinion of others.

  • How it is stopping you from reaching your potential.

  • 5 lessons that have helped me stop caring what other people think of me.

Being free of the opinion of others is a superpower.

You experience a newfound sense of self-confidence, authenticity, and fulfillment.

You start to make decisions based on your own values and desires, rather than constantly trying to please others.

You unleash your potential and start to create the life you desire for yourself.

Unfortunately, so many people never learn how to break free of the opinion of others.

They continue to live inauthentic lives, constantly seeking external validation and missing out on the superpower that comes with being true to themselves.

They are scared to be rejected by society.

This is how the fear of rejection will stop you from creating the life you want:

  • Stops you from taking action.

  • Gives you a lack of clarity.

  • Constantly doubt yourself and your abilities.

You don't have to let this fear control your life any longer. I was once in this boat.

Scared to take action toward the life I knew I was destined for.

Fearful of what others would think if I dared to want more for myself.

Here are 5 lenses of thinking that have helped me overcome this:

#1 You are not the center of the universe

Most people believe that they are the center of the universe because you experience life through your own eyes.

Zoom out.

You are a single person.

In a single city.

In a single state.

In a single country.

In a single continent.

In a single planet.

In a single galaxy amongst trillions of galaxies.

When you change your perspective and realise that you are not the center of the universe.

You begin to see the bigger picture and understand that there is a larger purpose and order to life.

You understand that a lot of the things that you care about are completely insignificant.

You gain a deeper appreciation for the world and the people around you.

#2: You are going to die one day

Human beings are the only species on the planet that are aware that they are going to die one day.

Most people become scared of this and will often live a life trying to avoid death.

The time we have on Earth is limited, nothing is permanent.

You are going to die one day and your problems are going to cease to exist. On a long enough time frame, no one will even remember who you were.

The Queen of England died 5 months ago but you are only thinking about her as you read this.

Life goes on. People move on.

You may as well spend the limited time you have on this Earth doing what you love. Placing less weight on what other people think about you.

#3: Become independent of the good and bad opinions of others

Let's break down what exactly an opinion is.

When someone is thinking about you it is a thought in someone else’s head.

We become so concerned over a fragment of thought in someone's imagination.

Sounds pretty silly when you think about it like that.

That we often let thoughts in someone else’s imagination control our lives.

The most successful people are independent of the good and bad opinions of others.

They are neutral to positive and negative thoughts that other people have of them.

Learn to become detached from both the positive and negative opinions of other people.

It empowers you to make decisions based on your own beliefs and values.

You are not tied down by the fear of caring what other people think.

You become free to start pursuing your passions and dreams.

This will bring you true happiness and fulfillment.

#4: People care more about what you think of them than what they think of you

This was an eye-opener for me.

We become preoccupied with what we think other people think of us.

So much so that we don't realize that everyone else is more consumed with their own problems.

Everyone is so immersed in their own troubles.

Busy concerning themselves with what other people think about them.

Most people don't have time to care about what you are worried about.

The only difference is that some people can mask it better than others.

But deep down, we all have our own insecurities and doubts about ourselves that play on our mind day by day.

Becoming aware of this helps ease the pressure of knowing that we are all on the same playing field.

#5: Find your Tribe

This was a big help.

Surround yourself with people who are on the same mission as you.

People who are in the arena of life, conquering their goals, dreams, and ambitions.

Find a tribe of people who are on the same journey as you.

People who understand, accept, and appreciate you for who you are.

These people can help you build your self-confidence and resilience.

You begin to value more the opinions of people who are on the same path as you and less of the ones who are on the sidelines.

You begin to draw strength and support from the people who understand and accept the journey you are on.

Keep searching for your tribe, they will change your life.

That's all from me today.

~ Stefan Barbas

Life by Design Program

This is something I have created in our Life by Design Program. Where a group of like-minded people comes together to:

Live their purpose.

Actualize their potential.

Create a life by design.

We help you get clear on the person you want to be in your life.

Get clarity on what you want out of life.

Build the systems and strategies to help you achieve it.

All while having the support and accountability of those who are on the same journey as you. Apply here:


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